How to: walk on heels

As I've got a few questions regarding getting used to walking on high heels as described in my last post on the importance of dressing (and acting) sexy I decided to make a short post to elaborate on the subject.

The most important thing to practice when learning to walk in high heels is posture. Your gait will seem unnatural at first due to the angle of the foot, but you still walk in a heel-toe sequence. Stand up straight with the chest up and shoulders back, but relaxed. Engage the abdominal muscles slightly to help straighten the
back. Your knees and thighs should be relaxed as you step. Check your posture in a full-length mirror and practice your walk in high heels on both hard and soft surfaces at home. If possible, practice on stairs as well, being careful to hold a handrail and placing your weight evenly on both heel and toe with each tread.

Once you've got the hang of proper posture and gait, you can safely venture out of the house. Be aware of the surfaces you walk on when wearing heels. Walking over soft grass, sand or rough or slippery surfaces will require extra attention. Abnormal surfaces can pose a trip hazard to even the most experienced high heel wearers, so use extra caution. When you are first learning to walk in high heels, you may be tempted to unnaturally alter your gait, which is normal, but can make you look and feel awkward. Avoid this by being mindful of the posture and gait you practiced at home.

While learning to walk in high heels takes practice, it is simple to learn. As described in my previous post, walking in high heels a  few hours a day going about your business around the house will quickly make you get used to them. They are a must for every woman and will definitely make you look and feel more sexy. And thats the main goal here right? ;-)

The importance of dressing (and acting) sexy

The way most women dress is only one of the many ways women have allowed their sexuality to be repressed. But no more! Some women are very reluctant to dress in a sexy way, lacking self-confidence in a way. I encourage you to remember that every woman has the innate ability to be sexy and attract and arouse the males around her, starting with your partner. When you consciously choose to solicit such arousal and
attraction, you open yourself to new perspectives and enable your own self-confidence to grow. This is not only important in your journey to become the dominant partner in your relationship but will also benefit you in everyday life.

Always remember that the only people whose happiness needs to factor into your decisions are yourself and your partner. If you live your life by others rules, you’re not living your own life and someday, that will bring regret when you look back. If dressing sexy makes you feel good and it thrills your partner (which it will :p), then that’s all that really counts. Of course an added bonus is that it will also please other male play things out there ;-). I encourage you to dress sexy 24/7. It doesnt matter if you are home alone or out with friends. Dressing sexy will make you feel good about yourself.

As with most aspects of life, this can be a gradual progression. For women who commonly wear pants,
simply switching to more skirts (and then I don't mean those skirts that drop until your knees) and dresses is a night and day difference. Leaving an extra button undone on the same blouses you always wear can turn a casual look into an alluring one. In general follow this simple rule when choosing what to wear: "Think dress first, skirt second, and pants only as a last resort." Now I can already hear the objections. "Oh, Nienke, I could never wear clothes like that. I'm too [fill in the blank] short, tall, round, thin. Nonsense, girls! The point is not to find women (skinny supermodels) to make clothes look sexy; rather it's to have skimpy, reveling clothes to make women (of all sizes and shapes) look sexy. Believe me, girlfriend, any mature woman in a short, tight dress and a top that shows some boobs looks good to any man on this planet!

What you wear under your dress or skirt is as important as the outfit itself. Always wear matching or at least
coordinated lingerie. Bras should maximize your bust size and its ok to display a little cleavage. Choose thongs or French cut panties and avoid (white) cotton underwear. Always wear hosiery. High tops and thigh highs are great for casual wear but stocking held up by corsets or garter belt are best for formal occasion. Try to avoid pantyhose when going out but if you wear them make sure they are sheer. Wearing stockings will make you feel far sexier and more feminine.

Shoe-wise you should go with high heels. Three-four inches are fine for casual entertaining, but try for four-five inches for nights out. This will take some getting used to as well. If you are not used to walking on high heels regularly, start by wearing your highest heals inside the house for 2 hours a day, then lengthen this period to 4-5 hours (switch shoes every now and then). This will ensure your feet hurt less when you have to go out on them as they grow used to your shoes.

Hair is also important. You want a hairstyle that is attractive, not something that is convenient or easy to manage. Generally men like longer, straight or wavy hair and blondes have an advantage. Just as important as hair is your make-up. You should make sure to do your eyes and lips on a daily basis at the very least, even if you are not going out. Make-up should not be over the top but it should be visible (don't try to hide! less is not more); what works best for you depends a lot on your skin tone. Google some makeup tips/looks and simply practice in front of your mirror. Red lipstick is a must however as it is classic, elegant and versatile. A good guide on what shade of red to use can be found here. Another way to instantly look more sexy is eyelash extensions. If you haven't already tried lash extensions, you should at least once in your life. Seriously, I speak from experience when I say they are amazing ;-).


Now a few exercises you should do to build your confidence:
 - Follow the dressing guidelines above
 - Go out shopping wearing a short dress or a skirt once a week
 -  At least twice a week make eye contact with a man you find attractive and make sure to make plenty of eye contact with him and smile.
 -  Make sure to go on a girls night/day out at least once a month (and dress the part!)
 - Make at least one 'selfie' a week while wearing a nice outfite, heals and hair 7 make-up done

Captions of the day!

So true :-)

And so familiar!

Isnt he cute? :p

Some golden rules for the dominant wife

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This will be me tonight

I hope you will have an equally nice evening girls!

The Importance of Cuckolding

I’m posting this in response to a question I had recently from a woman who was tempted to start cuckolding her husband (on his request) but wasn't quite sure how to handle it.

Cuckolding is often seen from the outside as simply a casual sex opportunity, but to truly enjoy it as a
lifestyle, couples need to explore the mental and emotional aspects of enabling other males to have a sexual role in the marriage.Cuckolding is a very deep and intense expression of love. Cuckolding takes the foundation of a stable, loving marriage and extends it to include another male in a sexual role within the relationship.

When the love & companionship components of your relationship are fully satisfying, but the sexual component isn’t, it makes little sense to give up a great relationship simply to enjoy better sex. It also makes little sense to give up enjoying a fulfilling sexual experience when you have the foundation needed to have it all. In most relationships it actually is the male partner that will bring up cuckolding. Why would you ignore something that will satisfy his deepest needs and satisfy your sexual needs at the same time?

This seems counter-intuitive, but when a couple can capitalize on something that divides most couples, they become much stronger. For many couples, both partners seek an experience (for him to be cuckolded, for her to be sexually satisfied) they can’t find between the two of them. It could be that your husband/boyfriend has a small penis, lacks stamina or is simply not the assertive personality you fantasize about giving yourself to. Cuckolding allows you as a couple to experience greater sexual satisfaction while still enjoying the other aspects of your relationship. If you think about it, it’s much easier to find someone sexually compatible than someone compatible to share your life with, making this dynamic a natural fit for many couples who want their love and their sex to be fulfilling.

There’s an incredible amount of trust that is involved in cuckolding and more than that, for all that it would seem that the husband involved is submissive, it takes an incredible amount of self-security to watch another man do intimate things with your wife so don't think less of your guy for bringing this up!

An added bonus is that you will most likely get out more often as you'll be dating again which. apart from a lot of excitement, gives you a great opportunity for shopping for new sexy cloths and lingerie. Your husband/boyfriend will love taking you shopping for that pair of high heels, that slim dress or that sexy lingerie set, especially when you make it clear it's not him you are buying it for ;-)

We've introduced cuckolding to our relationship a few years back and it has enhanced our sex life in a multitude of ways. I've never regretted the decision once so far. Let your inner sexiness out and give it a try. 

A good suggestion to get started for those with cold feet is by finding a guy on the internet and after chatting for a few days, invite him for dinner at your place or at a restaurant if a public place is more comfortable for you (you could combine this with the role play ideas I posted a few days back: link). Be openly flirtatious and intimate with him with your boyfriend/husband present. I suggest you give your hubby small tasks to perform while you entertain your lover to be.

This isn’t just to keep him busy, but to demonstrate that you are the one in control when your lover is present. Have your
boyfriend/husband get drinks or hang up your (and your lover's) coat, for example. When he returns, he should find you snuggled up to your lover on the couch (your hands playfully stroking the bulge of your boyfriend’s cock?). After this point it will be up to you if you want to continue and if this will be with your partner present or if you send him out of the house. If he isn't around (which might be more comfortable for you the first few times), you will have all the more fun telling him all the dirty details once he arrives back home!

An easier life in practice

Making your life easier starts by taking away the things that you don't like in your life. Men should be doing part of the housework because it relieves you of some or all of the routine and drudgery allowing you to pursue personal interests, a career or just relaxation. It's all about female empowerment. And doing housework makes men appreciate just how difficult it is to keep a home neat, orderly and running efficiently.

Write down the five things you hate to do, don't read on until you made the list.

Handy Crafting!

People wear clothing to protect their bodies against nature, to define their social roles, and to express their personalities.So what better way to indicate the status of your insignificant other by making him wear a special outfit while inside the house :-).

Get creative with a few burlap sacks and come up with an outfit for him to wear while at home. It saves in money, defines roles and gives you a few hours of joy. Get his measurements and make a nice outfit for a few euro's.

To augment his servant status you could get an old sheet and some lace and augment his outfit with a nice classical apron.  

He will learn to enjoy wearing this sign of his subservience, also because he knows he wears it because you demand he does.

On special occasions you could tell him to make sure he only wears the apron (or augment it with some nice panties) to give an evening just that little touch it sometimes needs!

Some mid-week inspiration ;-)

Always remind them that this was their idea!

 

So true ;-)

 

Sometimes we just need a moment like this..

 

Black usually wins for me :-)

 Show him who's boss!

 

What a lucky guy :-)

A great way for re-establishing roles in your relationship ;-)

 

Some awesome captions for the weekend!

 

Role play idea's

Some nice things to spice up your sex life and keep him (and you) interested!


Just having a chat..
Wear something sexy, preferably a skirt with stockings and no panties, and get yourself comfortable behind your computer (or laptop). Find a decent chat site and hang about a bit until you meet someone you like talking to. Once engaged in a friendly conversation (it doesnt have to be more then that) call your hubby and ask him to get your a glass of wine.

When he comes make sure he sees you are not wearing panties and have the chat window open. If he asks what you are doing keep it simple and reply with "Oh, just having a chat". If he asks who you are talking to reply with "Just some guy". Dont give any more details then that!

Polity ask him to go away because a girl needs some privacy ;-) ake sure to ask him to close the door behind him. Stay there for another hour or so and even maybe ask for a refill :p Let his fantasy do the rest and let him lick you to orgasm after you are done!

Some good Dutch chat sites are:
www.chatgirl.nl
www.chattijd.nl
www.gratis-sex-chat.nl
www.flirt.nu

Going out to play
When you go hang out with girlfriends give it some extra effort and dress up extra sexy and plainly ask him if he thinks you look the part. Mention you imagine you'll get a lot of attention tonight and smile deviously. Make sure to let him know indirectly that you're going hunting for attention.

Afterwards when you come back you can tease him (during sex or otherwise just because you can) with all the guys you danced with (even if you didnt) and how you could feel their big cocks trough their pants and their hands feeling you up. Tell him that one of them (a handsome black guy) asked you to go home with him for an after party but you didn't because you were tired or because you didn't want to leave your friend alone. You could drop that he did give you his phone number though.Make all of this sound like it is the most common thing in the world.





The minds' eye
While having sex with your boyfriend tell him not to speak as you are trying to pretend he is someone else. Choose someone from work or a mutual friend for this imaginary lover. Choose positions in which you wont
be able to see him (straddle his face and make him lick you, ride him with your back towards him or ask him to do you doggy style (make sure to slip in a disappointed "is it in yet?"). Make sure to moan the name of your fictional lover ;-)

Afterwards make him clean your pussy and ask him if he likes licking up <insert lovers name>'s cum!

Cool Caption Sunday!

My lover just left (yes he spend the night :-) ) so I thought I'd give your girls a few captions for inspiration on this beautiful Sunday morning!

 

 

My lover is coming over this evening

Havent seen him for almost 2 weeks now

 

...and I am itching with anticipation :-)

Mark of ownership

A mark of ownership is something special between a woman and her property and is usually done to seal the faith of the submissive man and bind him to  his owner. The design is usually something that relates to the name of the woman; I personally would advice to create something around the first letter of your name. For

the submissive partner a mark is extremely symbolic, some see it as a badge of honour as well.  It is etched into the sub's flesh, as well as their mind.  It is etched into the sub that they are worth the time and effort to be marked and that their body is no longer their own. The marking shows the sub's choice to live as a slave and is there for them to see, unavoidable, always acknowledging their place in the relationship.

The best and most symbolic way to give your partner a mark of ownership is by branding him. Branded marks have the advantage to fade over time and are therefore less permanent then tattoo's. Also the process of branding your own partner and taking him as your property is something highly symbolic in it self.

How to start? Branding can easily be done without risk at home. First you will need a branding iron. An effective way is to make the symbol (let your partner do it) out of flexible electricity wire after a design of your initial you made earlier on your computer. Heat the branding iron and a test a few times on a piece of cart board to give you an indication of how it will turn out.

The secret of a good brand is to heat the wire until it just glows dull red and apply it quickly to the skin for a count of about 2 seconds, no longer. Then immediately apply some ice. This will prevent spreading of the burn and consequent blurring of the mark. Such a brand will take about a week to ten
days to heal completely and should be monitored for infection. Brands will fade over a long time but to my mind they are the most appropriate way to mark a slave. Re-branding the slave every year (on the anniversary of his enslavement say) can become an important and significant ceremony for both you and your partner. It is probably best to brand him where the mark will not be visible when the slave is in normal clothes or swimming trunks. Good areas are: the lower belly just above the cock, the outside of the hip, the inside of the hip and the buttocks.

The images below show a mark right after being made and the same spot 1 year later:

Questions?

If anyone has any questions for me you can mail me at missnienkeflr@gmail.com.

(Please let me know in your email if I can share your question and my answer on my blog)

xoxo

Birthday idea

Buy your man a nice t-shirt!

Buy it here!

How to humble your partner

After growing in to the lifestyle you might come at a point where your partner is growing a bit to confident for his role in your relationship. In this article I will try to give you some ideas to implement in your relationship that might counter this effect. I'd advice you to try these pointers for a period of time and see what works for you! All of these pointers evolve around the concept that he is your property and that he is not a real man.

1.) Get him naked! Nothing says 'I am above you' more then you wearing your every day clothes and him being naked. Simply tell him you want him to undress and remain naked when ever he is at home. Be firm about this and try it for at least a month before deciding if it works for you or not. It might be a bit awkward for starters but you'll both get used to it and learn to enjoy it. It's also an easy way to check if it is time for his monthly wax or if he's trimming his pubic hair properly as instructed. Additionally you could require him to wear a nice ribbon around the base of his penis or simply require him to keep his panties on. If you are in to it you could even require him to wear hold up stockings (I love the combination of waxed legs with hold up stockings, a nice pink ribbon and a pink dog collar with fake diamond studs!).

2.) Cage time! I cant tell you enough but locking up your husband at least one evening (2-3h) during workdays and at least 4-6h each weekend will make sure he knows his position. Don't include any playtime with cage time, simply tell him to come to you, lock him up and leave him; no comments and no explanation! You are his owner, he is your slave; there is no need to explain your property why you do a certain thing.

 

3.) Humiliation shopping! One of my favorites!! Take him to a big cheap shoe store (Dutchies: Bristol, Scapino etc) and make him fit some nice high heels that you picked. Demand that he walks on them for a bit so you can see if they look good on him. Make sure he wears hold up stockings under his pants for a proper fit! Bigger stores are better for this as they often give more privacy. In a large pet store or the pet department of a large department store you can pick out a nice (pink?) dog collar and make him hold them against his neck for you to decide what looks good on him. Another great thing I like to do is visit a department store (Dutchies; V&D or C&A!) and let my partner fit some new women's panties or a (training) bra.


4.) Verbal communication! This might be one of the most important things; verbally let him know that you are his owner or he is not a real man once a day. It could be while you are both watching TV and you simply tell him he is pathetic or by replying with 'thats not how you address your owner slut' when ever he says something remotely inappropriate. Making sure he addresses you with Ma'am or Miss is another way to assert the right hierarchy in your household. Additionally you could require him to ask permission to ask a question ('Miss, may I please ask a question?') instead of just blurting out his foolishness.



5.) Get a lover! The easiest and best way for both of you to acertain the fact he is not a real man is by letting another man in your relationship to satisfy you sexually (something he obviously can't do). Even if you are nervous or have some feelings against this lifestyle (which is normal in this kind of society I guess) try to ease in to it by chatting to otehr guys in a chat box from the safety of your own home and slowly let that evolve in asking someone out for a drink. You'll know when you found the right guy and from that moment on you'll never want it any other way!