The initiation

So your partner has confessed that he wants to be your submissive and as you are reading this blog you obviously have shown some interest. It could be that you are totally new to Femdom or you could have some experience already. I for one was a bit reluctant and certainly did not want to boss my then still boyfriend around 24 hours a day. We did notice soon enough however that just playing a d/s scene every now and then simply didn't cut it.

 

My husband used to have quite a dominant side as well when it came to every day matters and that

just didn't sit well with me. I couldn't be dominant in the bed room and virtually be his 'slave' when

it came to our household. I figured out that I would need to incorporate some of the Femdom things

we did in the bed room in our everyday life.

 

Under my guidance we slowly moved to a way of life that works for us where Femdom is incorporated in the way money is managed in our household, the chores around the house are done, his obedience to me and of course in our bedroom fun time. But first we have to make him your slave. Even if you already do some things that touch the Femdom lifestyle, he isn’t really your slave yet. I don’t like contracts that have no meaning and endless lists of rules and stop words so we don’t use any of these. In this chapter I will describe a ritual of some sort of how I made my husband my slave.

 

For this ritual you will need a way to tie your partners’ hands above his head. If you don’t have such

a thing simply ask your partner to mount a hook in one of your ceiling beams in the bedroom one

weekend. If you ask it with a wink it’ll be there before you know it!

 

Considering you have such a mounting point, wait for your husband to come home from work one day while wearing that tight dress and those heels he likes so much and add some stockings as a finishing touch. Welcome him home as you usually do and ask him to come up to the bedroom.

 

Make sure you have some restraints, a cane (or equivalent), some rope, a gag and a hood or pillowcase laid out on the bed. Ask him teasingly to undress and add the restraints to his wrists. Suspend his hands above his head and start teasing his (now rock hard, trust me) cock. Ask him teasingly who the boss around the house is and if you can do really anything you want with him. If the answers are to your satisfaction, gag him and attach the hood.

 

Tell him that today is the day he becomes your slave for real and that whatever is going to happen next is for his own good, to confirm the new roles in your relationship. Take your cane and administer 150 hits – 100 on his back side from below the neck to his calves (avoid the spine)– and 50 on the front.

 

These hits are meant to hurt and to leave marks (don’t worry apart from this ritual I usually never hit my slave much at all but as an initiation it is needed to establish these roles)! The numbers are to make it easier for yourself.

Once you are done leave him there and leave the room. Go downstairs, watch some TV or finish your dinner. After half an hour to an hour go upstairs and untie him. Give him a hug and tell him he is now officially your slave and tell him that whenever you call him by his slave name (sissy / sissyboy / slut / whore / looser or anything else you like such as a pet name) he should abide your will instantly. If you want him to address you as mistress / goddess / queen / princess in this state, this would be the time to tell him. I personally don't like these terms and my hubby calls me Miss Nienke when he's on duty.

Also tell him that is he chooses to not obey you this 'whole Femdom thing' is over and you'll never try it again (trust me you got his attention now). Have your evening dinner as you usually would have but when you are done make sure you tell him to clean the table and do the dishes (or empty/fill the dishwasher).