How to Drive Your Man insane with desire (Tease & Denial Scene Ideas)

The slippery simulator - For this tease, you’ll usually need the belt or device off, but if you have one of a design where you can touch the penis (like with a Lori cage and some belts where you can
reach down between the legs and behind the crotch-piece) you can do it that way, too.
First, you’ll need some lube. You can do it without and his leaking will provide lube all of its own, but it’s much better if you have it there from the outset. I find the more lube the better because the smoother the glide, the more exquisite it is for him. Next, get him to lie down on his back with his hands behind his head and tie his hands to the bed.

Now gently grasp his shaft in one hand and with the other slowly start to trace with your nails (gently!) over the head of his penis. I find it most effective if I start at the tip and move all my
fingers and thumb out together, sliding down over the head to the top of the shaft and then back again. What I love about this technique is it’s almost impossible for him to come like this and the level of control I have is incredible.
And of course this means you can do it for as long as you want and hold him right on the edge.
I have never timed it, but estimate I tease my partner like this for maybe 20 minutes to half an hour at a time. And by the time I’m done he is begging for release — I mean really begging for it. But he doesn’t get it. Not a chance! I simply let him cool down and either take him back
to the edge again or, if I’m done with the session, when he’s ready, I’ll let him cool down and get him to put his Lori back on again.

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Some nice captions :-)

 

 

 

Scene Ideas

Here are some idea's to humiliate your partner that I wanted to share with you all!

The photo album - Make pictures of your husband during/after your play time (locked in his cage, with a red butt after a good caning, his sissyclit in his chastity cage, dressed in his nice panties etc) and create a digital photo album. Keep it private for the two of you or make the pictures anonymous and post them publicly on a blog.

A little tease - Make a habit of sliding your hand (or foot) into his crotch and saying something like, “Getting to be a horny sub are we?” Or, “Since your sissy clit belongs to me, I can fondle him whenever I wish but you may not.” Or say nothing at all: just smile and give him a kiss on the cheek or a pat on the head.

Explain yourself! - Ask for explanations. “Why haven’t you made our bed yet?” “Why don’t you have dinner ready?” “Why haven't you cleaned the bathroom yet?” Ofcourse if his reasons are not good enough he'll need to be punished ;-)

Sleepy time - Try to find him pink pjamas. Or make him wear a nightie in bed.

Play fetch - Sit on the couch and make him get silly things for you that you could easily do yourself(the remote thats half a meter away from you, a drink etc). Works best if he is busy cleaning or doing something else.

Silence - If he is talking to much or talked back to you (or you simply want some silence) tell him he is not allowed to talk for the remainder of the day. Keep a gag near in case he does make a sound!

The coin - Place your slave in a corner, put a coin on the wall just above his waist level and have him hold it there with his nose while kneeling. His hands should be tied behind his back. Dropping the coin ofcourse means punishment..

Cleaning - Some punishments are best if they fit the crime, so to speak - for example:

If you find dirt in the corner of a floor the slave has just washed, he should first re-wash it, then eat his dinner directly off the floor (and clean it again).

Improperly folded towels, sheets and clothes can be punished by removing all items from drawers or cupboards and piling them on your bed for your slave to refold (repeat until satisfied).

Dirty dishes found in cupboards should be treated in a simular way: all cupboard items (plates, cups, silver and pans) removed, placed on the floor and re-washed by hand, towel dried, and replaced.
 
An early night - When your lover is over, send your husband to bed (in the spare bedroom) early so you can have some privacy with your lover.

A friend - If you got a very good girlfriend you can trust you can do this scene with her, otherwise consider finding someone on the internet trough an add. Wait in the living room with the two of you for your hubby to come home from work. When he gets home introduce him to your friend ("a collegue from work"). Make him poor the two of you a glass of wine while you are talking. When he serves you tell your friend what a sissy boy your hubby is and that he wears girly panties. Make him drop his pants to show her. If she is in to it you could let her fuck him with a strapon as well ;-).

The cocksucker - Much the same as the previous scene, get a guy to come over for a blowjob (from your buyfriend). When your hubby comes home tell him to get on his knees and show you what a good sissy is he is (I find it highly erotic to see my hubby suck cock).

Clean me! - Make him clean your pussy after you peed - why waste toilet paper (It might soun shocking but most slaves will actually like this)?

"Doggy style" - Take him to the park or a nearby forrest at night and make him pee like a dog (make sure he drinks enough water before you leave (0,5 - 1 liter). Make sure to make pictures!

Tan lines - Send your partner out to a tanning salon 3-4 times with a pair of girly bikini bottoms and fast tanning spray. Have him get a good tan while wearing these then later take him to the nude beach or to a spa... ;-)

The ruler - Grab a ruler and measure his penis, and then measure his middle finger and compare the two. Laugh and tell him he is truly pathetic.

 

Scene Idea - Obedience training

As almost all women, I love to be waited on. Coincidentally my subby hubby loves waiting on me! Why not use this information to both our advantages?

Prepare a long list of chores to be done by your hubby beforehand. On a Saturday afternoon give him the list and make him read it and confirm he understands what you want form him. Comment that he should of course wear his cleaning outfit (frilly apron, maids outfit or what ever you have decided he should wear).

He is still the same man that you have always loved

By far, the most common concern that we hear from women is that they do not want to trade in the partner that they love for a mindless domestic servant. This is a fair concern, but it is the manifestation of an essential misunderstanding of how this dynamic will impact their relationship.

While some men, and doubtless some women, fantasize about a relationship where the man is engaged in a constant, 24/7 effort of nipping at his wife's heels to please her, this is simply not a relationship that works for most people in the long-run. This ofcourse doesnt mean it can't be fun on that rainy Saturday ;-).

It is however better to understand loving female authority as a dimension of the relationship that is always present, but not always out in the open. Day in and day out, the vast majority of the woman's interactions with her husband will be exactly as they were before. Husbands and wives share friendship, trust, affection and a spiritual love that is completely independent of who has the final authority in the household. None of this - absolutely none of this - changes when a woman acknowledges her partner's submission.

They will still laugh together, they will still play together, and they will still work together for common goals. If there are disagreements in the household, the woman's decision will certainly be final, but relationships do not revolve around conflict resolution. The husband will take on a much greater percentage of the household chores, but neither do relationships revolve around domestic work. The woman can be as demanding as she chooses as often as she chooses. She can do so multiple times a day, daily or weekly based on how she feels that the husband's role in the relationship needs reinforcing to keep him fulfilled.

Sample Dialogues for Wives with Submissive Husbands

Some of these seem pretty corny, but these little snippets have received tons of positive feedback!
Feel free to comment with your own and I'll add them to the collection ;-)

- Go get the lotion. I need you to rub my feet.
- Run my bath for me. And while I'm in there get started on the laundry.
- Get up, Sweetheart, and make me some coffee and an English muffin with butter.
- You did a nice job cleaning the bathrooms; I am very pleased with you.
- I want a full body massage for exactly one hour; keep an eye on the clock. When you are done I want you to go down on me until I tell you to stop. Afterwards, we'll both go to sleep. You won't be having an orgasm tonight.
- I'm going out with the girls tonight. While I'm gone you can work on the laundry.
- I want you writing down everything that you eat. I want to monitor your eating habits so that I can make some changes. Also, you'll be starting an exercise program this week.
- At the beginning of every week, I'll give you an allowance. If an emergency comes up, please feel free to come to me and we can discuss giving you some extra money. I also want a weekly report on how you spend your allowance.
- I'm going to the gym. When I am back I expect the toilet and kitchen to be spotless.

Avoiding to add 'please' to a sentence when you ask (its not really asking now is it?) him to do something goes a long way as well!

source

Punishment: Tips & Tricks

I am often asked questions about punishment by women who are new to the Femdom lifestyle.
Here I will try to answer some of the more common questions. Please understand that I answer these question for myself and share how I deal with punishment issues. Based on your relationship with your sub and your personality you might either want to be more strict/firm or less..

When do I punish and what do I let slide and forgive?
The main issue with punishments is consistency (VERY important)! If you told your partner he will be p-punished if he does a certain thing then follow it through! Your partner is seeking your guidance and control. Not punishing an act you find unacceptable is sending out a message you have no control! In general, if I ask my partner to do something and he forgets, I will punish him with the cane. If he is rude (eg: talking back to me) I will face slap him. For more basic things like if he drops something while cleaning the table or not cleaning things up to my standards I simply talk sternly to him (ie I let it slide). If such minor things happen more often however I suggest a good caning as well. Finally, as we love our little subbies, we always forgive. .

Three important pillars for punishment
- Punishment in any detail must be different from other types of Femdom action. Punishment is not bedroom play time, it is punishment. For instance you can have special BDSM toys used only for punishment and nothing else. A sturdy cane is perfect for such occasions.

This is so true!

Ban internet Porn!

Lately I have been a bit annoyed by the amount of porn surfing my hubby has been doing so I baught a copy of net nanny (an internet pron filter) and told him to install it on both his computer and his laptop. Its a great program as it lets you set an administrator password trough which you can add sites he is not allowed to browese to. As I have my own laptop this doesnt hinder me much but it does help out a lot in improving his behavior!

Confronting him with a report with a few less then innocent results after a week might be a very good reason to give him a propper spanking and vent some frustration ;-)

Scene ideas

Walk in the forest - For this scene you'll need a reasonably quiet forest on driving distance and warm weather (at least 15 degrees Celsius). Wait till it starts to get dark outside and tell your
partner to get a backpack, his dog collar and a leash and wait kneeling in the hallway. Let him wait
in anticipation for 10-20 minutes while you enjoy a cup of thee or something like that. Grab the
backpack and tell him to walk to the car, say you'll drive. When you get to the car open the trunk
and tell him to get in (look carefully first if there is no one around). Close the trunk and drive to a
nearby forest, park somewhere secluded. Check if no one is around, open the trunk and tell him to
get out and get on all fours then put on the collar and the leash and tell him to follow. If he says
something (even if it is a simple Yes miss ...) kick him and say something like "dogs don't talk they
bark". Walk for a few minutes in to the forest. When you are fairly sure you are alone take the leash
off and tell him to take of his shirt. Put the shirt in the backpack and put the leash back on. Walk
deeper in to the forest and after another +/- 10 minutes take of the leash and tell him to strip to his
underwear. Stack the cloths in the backpack and put the leash back on. If you are feeling naughty
you can tell him to strip naked. Crawling like this is actually quite tiresome so don't go to deep in to
the forest. You can decide for yourself if you allow him to walk back or crawl back and how many
cloths he'll be wearing when you reach the car and if he'll be in the front when you are back or in
the trunk.

Grocery Shopping - A simple every day scene you can play in public and that we actually

incorporated in our everyday life. Go grocery shopping and demand he goes with you. When he puts
something in the basket or chariot tell him sternly to put it back and ask you first before putting
stuff in the basket that are not on your list. He then has to ask you for every item if he may have it
followed by a pleading please. The nice thing about this scene is that he doesn't need to know about
it and it doesn't require any additional tools

Chatting flirtations - Before we did any actual cuckolding (but when I was warming to the idea) I

sometimes used to chat online with other guys to tease my husband and make him jealous. Make a
separate Skype or MSN account for this endeavor and find a good adult chat room - For you Dutchies who read this, try out Chatgirl.nl sometimes its full and you need to send a sms to get in but it's worth it - . Fill in your profile with your details (eg brunette, brown eyes, 32 years old in a relationship looking for flirt with sensual black guy). Make your husband bring you wine while you chat with other guys who obviously want to get in your panties. If you are turned on you can tell your partner to kneel before you and service you orally. If you find a guy you like and feel naughty add him to Skype and continue the conversation there (don't forget to send your partner away)). If you really like the guys and decide to use a webcam make sure to have one of those Victorian masks nearby so you are unrecognizable. It's fun cause it makes you feel desirable yet safely behind your computer and it works for him if he has cuckold fantasies. Who knows who you will meet ;-).

Some other topics of interest

Chastity - I keep my husband in a chastity belt. We started out with a plastic device (CB-6000) but ended up buying a custom steel device shortly after. Keeping your husband in chastity keeps him aroused and more susceptible to your needs. Men jerk off up to 3 times a day in average if not controlled. And a wise woman once said that to control a men's orgasms is the only way to truly control a man. The question people ask me the most is how long I keep hubby in chastity. Simply put he should be always in his device. Once a week in the weekend, as well as before bed room play time when I want him nice and clean, the device goes off for a good supervised cleaning under the shower. allow your hubby between 1 and 4 orgasms a month based on good behavior and make sure he cleans his mess before locking him back up. Check out  "Male chastity - a guide for keyholders" by Lucy Fairbourse for more information regarding chastity. Before I forget: an added bonus of a chastity device is that your partner will have to sit to pee at the toilet!

Body hair and weight problems - My husband was fairly hairy when I got to know him. Not something he can do much about as, like his small peepee, it is how he was born. I however don't like all that hair overly much. We have tried many way of getting rid of the hair but waxing has proven to be the only way to get rid of the hair for a period longer then a day or two (actually up to 4-5 weeks!). I wax his backside (incl. the back of his legs and his buttocks) and I let him do the other parts of his

body. His pubes are also waxed but I like him to leave a little 'landing strip' which is seriously sexy in my opinion! Once you have seen your partner with truly smooth legs you'll never want it any other way trust me ;-).

Regarding weight problems I can only say I simply put mu husband on a strict diet of veggies and

meat (not too much) and no carbs. Candy and chocolates are still banned and I got my private store
in a locked box in the basement (next to wallets/money men also can't control themselves around
food). Just because he is on a diet doesn't mean you have to be however! For me personally there is
nothing nicer then eating fries and chicken wings while watching my hubby eat a salad (especially
at a restaurant). If he is really overweight he'll also need to move more. Simply tell him to go run in
the local park 2 times a week or accompany him on bike to a nearby forest he runs, you bicycle).
Like this you can slowly mold your partner is the perfect man.

 

Underwear - I make my husband wear panties. One day I simply bought him some nice frilly pink

panties and threw out all his boxer shorts (they were getting old anyway). We started out with women's underwear but evolved to underwear for men that looks exactly like women's lingerie. A good shop to get these from is bodyaware.co.uk. To work he wears the black varieties and at home during the weekend he wears the pink ones. It is a constant reminder for my husband of his place in our relationship and together with his bare legs they actually look very cute! Sometimes (before bedroom play time) I also let him wear hold up stockings. Apart from that we don't involve in any
feminization or cross-dressing fetishes; we purely use this for humiliation purposes. If you do like feminization just use Google for more information as I got no experiences to share.

 

Cuckolding - Cuckolding takes the foundation of a stable, loving marriage and extends it to include one or more males to play a specific, sexual role within the marriage. To narrow it down it means
you can have sex with other men while your partner can not have sex with other women. It might
be your partners' fantasy or you might be interested in it yourself. It could be your partner has a
small penis, lacks stamina or is simply not the assertive personality you fantasize about giving
yourself to. Cuckolding allows this couple to experience greater sexual satisfaction while still
enjoying the other aspects of their relationship. Especially if your husband bring sit up don't be
afraid to at least give it a try once or twice. The internet gives you lots of opportunities to meet
other people of all shapes, colors and sizes.

You can have these escapades at your home (with or without your hubby present), in his home or a

local hotel. I advice to have the first meetings in your home with hubby present or a neutral place
in town (meet for drinks then see afterwards where it leads). I myself was quite hesitant towards this the first time my hubby brought it up but since I met the right guy (with a big black cock that truly humbles my hubby) it has certainly been an enrichment of my life and our relationship. Sexually I am way more satisfied these days and I feel desirable as never before.

My hubby loves preparing me for my dates and shopping with me for new lingerie that we know my lover likes. My hubby and my lover actually get along quite well and occasionally I let him watch and clean me afterwards. Sometimes however I simply ask him to leave the house (or lock him in his shed box) while my lover and I thrive in an evening of endless passion. All I can say is its worth a try and I promise you that with tn he right guy you won't regret it.

The Household Economics

What I learned worked for me to keep my dominant side up (and partially save our family from

financial ruin, really men can't control their wallets) was taking control of our family's finances. We
started doing this while we were not married yet and I still had my own bank account. I had a part
time job but as my husband paid the rent and most of our general costs so I transferred the largest
part of my money to him every month. We were one of those families that always had a bit of month
left at the end of their money and took gracious advantage of the credit limit given by our bank.
I took control of our finances by simply swapping bank cards with my then boyfriend and made
sure he had 50 Euro's of pocket money a month.

If something bigger needed to be bought he had to ask me and we would check our current cash position and although I'd listen to his opinion I took the ultimate decision. Apart from the sudden feeling of power it gave me it also improved our financial position in such a way that within 4 months time we were actually saving money instead of digging in to our credit limit! Evidence enough for me that women should always be in charge ;-).

It may sound like a big step but controlling a families funds isn't really that hard. Most costs for

mortgage or rent and insurances are automatically deducted each month and when you see costs
on your bank statement you don't recognize simply ask your partner to explain or help. Just because you are ultimately in control instead of him doesn't mean he can't help out.

A few years in to this lifestyle we have gotten to the point where his wages are automatically deposited in my own account and I pay all costs. Even if you do not choose to go down this road yet (although I strongly advice it - money makes the world go round and being in control of the money usually means being in control in general) make sure you are the one who pays when you go shopping  or go out to dinner (even if it is with his wallet). It's the small things that make a woman feel powerful and your partner submissive. You'll learn to love it and it also shows other people who is in charge in a very subtle way.

Bedroom playtime

First of all, bedroom playtime should not limit to the bedroom but I guess that is pretty obvious in

the 20th century. What you will do in the bedroom however will change a bit. He is your slave so

least five to seven orgasms a week. This does not mean you have traditional sex five to seven a
week though! You'll learn you can orgasm while watching TV, reading a book or any other activity
around the house. Simply drop your pants or pull up your shirt and say 'I want an orgasm'. If he's
not as good with his mouth as you like tell him to slow down, speed up or cleverly point out he's not
in the right spot. Once you enjoyed your thirty seconds of heaven simply push him away and
continue with whatever you were doing before.

At least once a week you bring out the strap-on and give your partner a good fucking. If you haven't

done this before bring it to him gently but insist. Tell him to suck your cock before your penetrate
him and let him suck it for a good five to ten minutes. Make sure he does a good job and instruct
him to do better ("deeper" "faster") if he isn't. It will invoke on him a sincere feeling of being
submissive and quite frankly makes him feel slutty. Be vocal when you fuck him. Tell him he's your little bitch or your fuck doll. If he has a small penis or is in to small penis humiliation you can tease him with the fact your "cock" is so much bigger than his and that you'll do the fucking from now on. I usually let him jerk off afterwards on my pussy. Make sure he always licks you clean afterwards!

To continue on the small penis theme, some men are very susceptible to SPH or small penis humiliation. If your partner is one of these men make sure to use this knowledge. My hubby for

example has a cock that I find average (a bit longer and thicker would be nice but it is just fine). I however always tease him with his little 'man clit' when we have our play time. Calling him a
little dick looser or a pathetic excuse for a man while he's penetrating me (it doesn't happen often
but it does from time to time) makes him squirt almost instant and is quite funny. If he is fucking
me doggy style I love turning around and ask if it's in yet or if it jumped out. My favorite is to lay on
my back and let him fuck me missionary style and feign disinterest or even start laughing. After he
comes, asks if he likes his pity fuck.

Punishment & Discipline

As I wrote before I don't like lists of rules and don't like to constantly spank my hubby. I do

however demand a measure of respect from him towards me (a bit more then in a normal
relationship). This means if I tell him to do something (whether it is by calling him by his slave
name or normal) I expect him to do it. I also expect him to be kind and caring towards me and not
contradict me or be grumpy towards me.

Any form of anger is of course out of the question. I resort to simple means of punishment that can be done with a minimal amount of effort from my side. When I notice arrogant behavior or when he forgot his place in our relationship I simply tell him to kneel in front of me and slap him in the face with the palm of my hand. I then explain to him what he did wrong. I expect him to apologize and afterwards tell him to get up and be on his way. This has proven to be an effective way to get the kind of behavior I want from my husband withoutresorting to extreme measures and it feels good as well vent your frustration like this once in a while. In public a good pull on his ear will certainly get his attention.

If my hubby is grumpy and acts on it or in some way pissed me off he goes to his cage (naked). We have one of those easy fold up dog cages that I can position where ever I want it to be. Usually it's
in the attic but in summer I sometimes tell him to set it up outside. If I cage him outside however I make sure to cover the cage with a blanket as our neighbors should not be bothered with our lifestyle. Caging is another easy way to fulfill your partners' submissive feelings without it costing a lot of energy on your part. Based on the severity of his behavior I leave him in there for between 1 and 6 hours usually. It gives him time to think about how he acted or what he done and cool down.

Everyday life (Housework etc)

Your partner in life is now also your slave. In essence not much should change in your life.

Especially if your partner has a busy job like mine you simply can’t let him do all the house work or lock him up 24 hours a day as some of the books and websites make out to be normal.
What you can do is make him help with the housework however, especially in the weekends! Pick
specific tasks such as the cleaning of a toilet or the kitchen and make sure you do absolutely nothing
while he's busy (and make sure he knows it). Lay down on the couch with your favorite book and a
good glass of wine.

Occasionally pay him a supervisory visit and point out spots he forgot to clean (it doesn't really matter if these spots are actually there of course). If he is done to fast to your liking tell him he can never have a good job at cleaning and tell him to do it again. This way of spreading the load of the housework will feed his submissiveness and make your life easier at the same time. What woman wouldn't want that?

Later on I bought my husband a frilly pink apron and made him wear it while he was doing any housework. I can tell you that especially if you tell him to only wear the apron it will be a very sexy sight and very humbling for him at the same time.

How much of the housework you will leverage of to your partner is entirely up to you and will probably depend on how busy he is with work and other things that need to be done. We have gotten to a point where I do approximately 20 percent of thehousework and I made sure to delegate all the tasks I hate to my trusty hubby.

 

 

The initiation

So your partner has confessed that he wants to be your submissive and as you are reading this blog you obviously have shown some interest. It could be that you are totally new to Femdom or you could have some experience already. I for one was a bit reluctant and certainly did not want to boss my then still boyfriend around 24 hours a day. We did notice soon enough however that just playing a d/s scene every now and then simply didn't cut it.

 

My husband used to have quite a dominant side as well when it came to every day matters and that

just didn't sit well with me. I couldn't be dominant in the bed room and virtually be his 'slave' when

it came to our household. I figured out that I would need to incorporate some of the Femdom things

we did in the bed room in our everyday life.

 

Under my guidance we slowly moved to a way of life that works for us where Femdom is incorporated in the way money is managed in our household, the chores around the house are done, his obedience to me and of course in our bedroom fun time. But first we have to make him your slave. Even if you already do some things that touch the Femdom lifestyle, he isn’t really your slave yet. I don’t like contracts that have no meaning and endless lists of rules and stop words so we don’t use any of these. In this chapter I will describe a ritual of some sort of how I made my husband my slave.

 

For this ritual you will need a way to tie your partners’ hands above his head. If you don’t have such

a thing simply ask your partner to mount a hook in one of your ceiling beams in the bedroom one

weekend. If you ask it with a wink it’ll be there before you know it!

 

Considering you have such a mounting point, wait for your husband to come home from work one day while wearing that tight dress and those heels he likes so much and add some stockings as a finishing touch. Welcome him home as you usually do and ask him to come up to the bedroom.

 

About me

Just introducing myself and the idea of this blog. I am a Dutch woman in my early 30s and have
been married for 4 years. My husband and I have been playing around with dominance and
submission over the length of our relationship and Femdom is now an inevitable part of our life. 

As with many of you it was my husband who pointed out his submissive needs to me. After many
failed attempts I have now come to like this kind of lifestyle and would not want it any other way.
As you will notice while reading this booklet it actually brought us closer together and made my life
a hell of a lot easier!

This blog is a compilation of my own experiences from things I collected from the internet over time. I also do not consider myself a writer and so cannot call this a book. Hopefully it will be a helpful resource for your journey in to Femdom. All the scene examples given in this booklet have been performed by me and my husband in real life and are therefore from my own experience.

I will not go in to the whole psychological thing why your partner is submissive as there has been
written enough about that in all the beginner books and all over the net. If you do need a beginners
guide, check out "the sexually dominant woman - a workbook for nervous beginners" by Lady Green.
What I will give you is a hands on practical guide to implement Femdom/FLR in to your life that will
make your life easier and more interesting while still satisfying your partners submissive side.
Enjoy reading!