Question from reader S - How to deal with a cocky slave

Last week I've received an E-mail from S. S has a FLR with her husband for 6 months now but her husband is starting to act a bit cocky and she doesn't know how to deal with it appropriately. S also pointed out that she ants to keep things basic. 

The situation above sounds very familiar to me as it is exactly what my husband did when we first engaged in our FLR. I've send S a personal answer but I will recap my thoughts below for all to benefit from.

Back to basics

To deal with a situation as described above it is needed to go back to the basics. In a Female led Relationship, the woman is obviously in charge. I'd like to go a step further and say that her partner/slave is her property and property should fit its purpose and obey. I also know that most of you don't want your relationship to become to extreme. It might be necessary however to create boundaries and take the things your partner takes for granted at this point and turn them in to a reward. I suggest following the majority of the pointers written out below for at least a two month period and afterwards slowly adjusting back to the living situation you are in now.

To be naked is to be vulnerable

Nudity is the ultimate humiliation for a human being; a naked male slave will feel vulnerable and enforces his feeling of being owned. A naked man will not speak out to a dressed woman, it will feel against their nature. Having your partner strip naked whenever he is indoors while you remain clothed and dressed will not only make your partner feel humbled but will else enforce a feeling on superiority on you.  After our two month period you evaluate and work forward to something that pleases you. That could be for example a male servant uniform to be worn inside the house (Maybe something you made yourself?) or you could keep him naked if that pleases you more. Wearing these clothing will feel like a reward considering he spend two months being naked. IF he starts acting up again you take away his clothing. Of course with being naked it becomes even more important that he keeps his body in shape and gets rid of nasty hairs. Therefore make sure he shaves at regular intervals (face daily, chest/pubes/arms(incl. armpits) every other day, legs weekly) or wax your slave.

Making him wear panties inside the house instead of complete nakedness could be an alternative and is fully up to your discretion ;-). I would also suggest a collar to be worn inside the house to further the feeling of being owned. A nice touch is to add a dog tag with a funny text such as 'this slut is owned by Miss Nienke' or a registration number from the Slave Register. 

Furniture

To sit on a chair, lay on a couch or sleep in a bed should be a privilege for your partner, not a basic right. Make his sit on the floor instead of sit on the couch for starters. When you have dinner  do so at your dinner table instead of in front of the TV and let him server you. While you eat he has to stand behind you (out of your sight but within range when you want your wine refilled). He may eat when you are satisfied and the table is cleaned. As he is a servant he eats in the kitchen standing at the counter. As extra humiliation you could limit what he eats to your left overs scraped together in a bowl. For a slave to be in your bed is one of the greatest virtues in his life and the bedroom should be your sanctity were you can have your alone time if needed. Make him sleep in the corridor in front of your bedroom door. Depending on his behavior he may have a blanket and/or a pillow. I went as far as moving his nightstand and cloths to our spare bedroom and redecorated my bedroom in a more feminine way; my bedroom is my private retreat :-). I also get a better nights' rest this way as my partner tends to turn a lot in his sleep.

Again, after this two month period being allowed on the couch to cuddle, to sleep in your bed or to eat together with you will feel like a great reward. Give these rewards as he deserves them and take them away if he starts slacking. 

Commands

After a week or two start teaching him some of these basic commands. 

Leave: he needs to immediately leave the room/space you are occupying.

Sit: he kneels, hands behind his back, eyes towards the floor
Down: he lays down on his belly, legs together, face turned towards his left shoulder, hands behind his backs
Crawl: He kneels then drops to all fours, forearms and lower legs flat on the ground and head lowered, he then crawls to you until his head touches your feet.
Silence: he may not speak until you say so.

Once these commands are learned they will benefit you forever. 

Discipline

As written in this post, rigorously adhering to a schedule of weekly discipline session for a submissive partner is very important.  At a scheduled time each week, you and your partner know that you will have him over your lap, over the back of a chair, or over the edge of the bed for an extended session with the cane or what

ever tool you select. Keep track of disobedience on a notepad if necessary. If your partner displeased you in any way make sure you show it during his discipline session. You know you hit hard enough when the welts of your cane are still visible the day after. As spring is coming a good alternative to a cane is fetching young fresh branches in a nearby park (a so called switch)! Discipline is something that should be inducted from the start and kept after the two month period. The intensity of the discipline should be related to the slaves behavior in such a way that he connects the two.

Chores
I know that most of your partners work but that should not mean he doesn't participate in maintaining the household. Give him a clear schedule of chores to perform on a daily basis (and enforce that he does them!). The example below will cover most of the areas in your house without taking up more then 30-45minutes of his time each workday and a bit more during weekends:

Daily: Wipe down the bathroom sink & toilet, sanitize food preparation areas & fill dishwasher
Monday: Sweep or vacuum high traffic areas
Tuesday: Mopping toilet, bathroom & kitchen floor
Wednesday: Clean kitchen cabinet doors
Thursday: Sweep or vacuum high traffic areas
Friday: Dust living room
Saturday: Mopping toilet, bathroom & kitchen floor & Project day
Sunday: Prepare for the week ahead


During the weekends you could add a more detailed schedule including getting up at a certain time to prepare you breakfast and serve you in bed!

Sex & targets
During these two months sex with your partner apart from taking him with a strap-on is out of the question. Set some targets for yourself and keep to them. For example: make sure to get at least four orgasms a week, visit your favorite chat site twice a week looking for potential lovers, flirt with at least one guy a week etc. I suggest halfway the two months to call your slave to you, make him kneel in front of you and to make him the promise that he will not be allowed to fuck you until another man has taken you. Don't worry, it doesn't matter if that takes a week or a year; there are plenty of alternatives for penetrative sex! The thought that he will not be able to be intimate with his girlfriend/wife until another real man has had you will make him nuts and the thought will make you extremely horny! Ideally you close of the two month program with a date (dinner, movie or more) with another man of course :-).Sites like Badoo are perfect for scoring a date btw!

Feel confident!

This might be the most important of all; you need to feel like a confident, sexy, independent woman who can take on the world. Make sure to read my posts on The importance of dressing (and acting) sexy and the golden rules for a dominant wife if you haven't yet.

Alternatives to penetrative sex

As most of you know by now I am very much against having penetrative sex with my submissive partner.

1.) Get a lover
I can't say it enough, getting a lover is a must for any dominant woman. Read some of my older articles for more background information as well. If you don't want to get a steady lover, invest in getting regular (erotic) massages from other guys or hook up with different guys (which I don't recommend) but it is very important
to let both yourself and your partner know that you are free to have interactions with other guys and to acknowledge the fact that penetrative sex with your partner does not satisfy you. The sooner you take this hurdle the better, for both of you.

2.) Get a dildo gag
Give your partner a mouthful and buy a Penis-Dildo Gag! These things are great as you can straddle your partner's face and ride him purely for your pleasure. The trick for a smooth ride is to make sure your partner lays flat on the bed or floor and as with any dildo make sure to lub it up good. Start slow and once you get the hang of it fuck his face proper!



3.) Get a penis extension sleeve
There are several types, and you should try a couple of them to find the one just right for you. One kind rolls

or slips on. It fits over the already hard dick. You need your partner to have a lasting erection to use it. Another kind is the strap-on extender. It is worn like a jockstrap and no erection is needed. I recommend using the second type. Make sure to buy a sleeve that fits your size requirements and make sure its thick enough to minimize pleasure for your partner. Riding his cock solely becomes about your pleasure like this!

Use either of these tips or a combination of them and make sure that this will be the only pussy your partner will get from now on:

Humiliation play ideas

Once in a while its necessary for your partner to come down to earth and know his place in life don't you agree? Here are some ideas on how to establish just that!

Make an online blog/photoalbum

I always snap some pictures while playing with my partner and at one place on the net I regularly post some of his pictures publicly. Always make sure his face is cut out or made unrecognizable! Make sure he receives regular updates of whats posted there!

Whore him out

I once did this one with my partner and will probably do so again in the near future. I placed an advertisement on a sex site (Sexjobs.nl) looking for a bi or gay guy, explaining that I was training my submissive husband to become a proper cocksucker. I secretly knew my partner would want to try sucking

another guy once but to come home from work and find a guy on our couch was still a big suprise for him! I aranged everything beforehand with the guy who turned out to be quite dominant himself and I simply told my hubby to get on his knees and give our guest a proper blowjob. We even made swallow. After he came he zipped up,  paid me 20 Euro's (which I gave him before my partner came home) in front of my hubby and left. Seriously without a doubt one of the hottest things I've ever seen!!!

Keep your distance worm!
An easy one: make your slave walk a few steps behind you on the street and always keep his hands behind his back.

Restaurant
Take him to a restaurant and tell him he is not allowed to talk. When the waiter brings menu's give one back and say one will be enough. Choose what he eats and order for him (maybe a childs menu or a healthy salad? :) ). 

Webcam
Sign him up for one of those pay per minute websites to earn you some extra cash! Could be either as a sissy or a gay slut, your call! A mask to hide identity could be added for privacy reasons. 

Accident
Make him drink 1.5 liters of water and take him out for a walk in the park. dont let him relief himself until he cant hold it anymore and pisses himself. Tell him to wait at that exact spot for 5 minutes until he can walk to the car. You walk back to the car straight away. Depending on how far you are from home you could decide to either wait for him (make him go in the booth to not stain the seats) or make him walk home. Alternatively you could make him pee like a dog on at night and film it :p.

SleepwearTry to find him pink pjamas. Or make him wear a nightie in bed. 

CarrierWhen you go out together make him carry your purse and all the shopping bags.

Proper attire
Buy him a feminine apron and make him wear it around the house. Yes, only an apron :-)Give him tasks and punish him hard if he does not comply. Never be satisfied no matter what he does.

Doggy
Make him wear a (pink?) dog collar and go for a walk.

ShoppingMake him go out & buy ladies undies in his size. Or maybe a fancy pair of heels for that special night out?

Lets take a drive
Dress him up as a sissy boy (corset, stockings, heels, stretchy skirt, lots of make-up) and take him for a ride in the evening/night. Drop him out on one side of a parking lot along a high way and drive to the other side. Make him do the walk of shame back to the car and drive away.










Also check out these scene ideas!

My little whore

My hubby has been acting awfully cocky during last week and I couldn't handle it anymore; something had to be done! As it turns out Saturday was waxing day and I gave my husband his bimonthly full body wax (I love it when he's nice and silky smooth, no yukky hairs yey!). Afterwards I made him thank me by giving me a nice foot rub and by painting my too nails. I told him it would be fun if he would paint his own too nails as well and so my plan began :D. So now I had a perfectly smooth hubby with red too nails, not so macho now huh?

As the day continued we had our dinner and watched a nice movie. After the movie ended I told him to wait downstairs while I put some things ready in the bed room. I put out a garter belt, a black corset and a pair of high heels we bought in his size a while back. We're not usually in to any sissification or anything so I knew this would surprise him! I went back downstairs and told him to go to the bedroom and ge
t ready with the stuff I put out and that I would join him in 15 minutes.

When I came up he was sitting on the edge of the bed with a flushed face, obviously not  very comfortable with the situation. I mentioned the corset could be a bit tighter and told him to get up. After strapping him in proper I took out my brightest shade of red lipstick and did his lips. When I was done I told him these powerful words: " You are nothing but a dirty whore to do with as I please, do you understand me?"

After a shy confirmation I took out my tool for the night: my favorite strap-on, a small bullet vibe and a photo camera. I began by making him do several 'sexy' poses for me while I snapped some pictures. After a while I got bored and it was time for phase two. I set on the edge of the bed and took out on of my romantic, slightly erotic, novels. I then placed the bullet vibe on my clit  behind the strap-on and put it on lowest. The I told him to be a good little whore and blow me. While he started sucking the strap-on in his queer outfit, I read my book. Occasionally I told him him to suck it deeper or faster. It took me while to come like this (a good 20 minutes or so).

After I came it was time for my little whore to take it like the little sissy boy he was. I tied his hand on his back, told him to get on his knees on the edge of the bed and bent over. After lubing the necessary parts up I gave him the fucking of a lifetime while he whimpered from pain and pleasure. I made sure to keep the camera near by and made a nice movie of him taking it like a little whore (sorry girls I wont post it, its for my private collection :-) ). After I was done with him I left him tied up in the bedroom for a while before untying him and asking him if he still felt like a macho man now; the look on his face was answer enough! And for those wondering, no - he didnt cum ;-).